2009-12-31T22:49:49-08:00 2009-12-31 86 false The night sky ruptures; Men assume divinity, and manufactured thunder joins the chorus of trumpets. The stars are rendered mute in the explosions. Sonic exultation reverberates across the skyscrapers. We watch each burst, wondering if it is the finale: Thrashing, crushing, eviscerating the heavens. then silence... A New Year begins in Boston. 2009-12-31T22:51:31-08:00 2009-11-19T18:56:42-08:00 2009-11-19 85 false Dear Pittsburgh Folk: Don't go to AIELLO'S PIZZA. Despite having a bad experience once before, I decided to give it a try again tonight. I ordered two slices to go. Then, out of nowhere, one of the gentlemen behind the counter decided to stick his fingers into his mouth and start whistling. No reason, no cause -- and no short duration either. He just stood there with his digits in his maw until he decided to take my pizza out. He then commented that the crust had "broken," and grabbed the crust of my pizza slices with his recently-oral hands and started kneading the dough together, somehow I suppose forgetting that the dough was already cooked. I paid my $3.70 and just left. I wasn't going to bother arguing over the money, but I wasn't going to touch that pizza either. 2009-11-19T18:56:42-08:00 2009-10-08T12:52:19-07:00 2009-10-08 84 false What utter, utter rot is the vast majority of what passes for ``consent'' nowadays. All the consent of a Greek sacrificial lamb, made to nod its head before being offered up to the gods. Indeed, all the consent of Persephone in the rapturous hands of Pluto. Do you want medical care? Then sign these documents letting us disclose your information. Do you want to apply to our university? Then tell us your social security number. Fancy a drink? Then show us your personal-information-laden driver's license. Flying? Yes, your papers, friend. And so we get back to this misbegotten notion that information disclosure is at some point voluntary. We are compelled and required to present our identification and information at innumerable junctures today. My information is disclosed with my consent -- see, I voluntarily signed the HIPPA form. 2009-10-08T12:52:32-07:00 2009-08-31T21:25:48-07:00 2009-08-31 83 false My first journal article was recently published. If you're interested, I've posted a copy here on my website. The title is: "A Comprehensive Simulation Tool for the Analysis of Password Policies" The abstract is: Modern organizations rely on passwords for preventing illicit access to valuable data and resources. A well designed password policy helps users create and manage more effective passwords. This paper offers a novel model and tool for understanding, creating, and testing password policies. We present a password policy simulation model which incorporates such factors as simulated users, accounts, and services. This model and its implementation enable administrators responsible for creating and managing password policies to test them before giving them to actual users. It also allows researchers to test how different password policy factors impact security, without the time and expense of actual human studies. We begin by presenting our password policy simulation model. We next discuss prior work and validate the model by showing how it is consistent with previous research conducted on human users. We then present and discuss experimental results derived using the model. Download the whole PDF in the Files section. 2009-08-31T21:25:48-07:00 2009-08-20T20:47:02-07:00 2009-08-20 82 false When I went to my tenth year high school reunion, they were all doing it. My new classmates here at Carnegie Mellon are doing it. My girlfriend is doing it. My sister is. Heck, even my dad is doing it. And now, I'm making a Facebook account too. Look out, The Internet. 2009-08-20T20:47:02-07:00 2009-08-15T22:26:39-07:00 2009-08-15 81 false The process of moving from Norwood, MA to Pittsburgh is just starting to wind down. Packing boxes and cleaning supplies have begun to give rise to what will be my home for the foreseeable future. I have the second floor of a three story building built in the 1920s. The location, Squirrel Hill, is excellent. I'm under two miles from the CMU campus, and it appears to be a safe, well-built neighborhood. I'm within walking distance from a super market, and several restaurants. Murray Ave, which is just a couple of blocks away, seems like a street full of interesting places. Reminds me a bit of Thayer Street back in Providence. The apartment is quite large. It has five rooms, which I've decided to divide as follows. I have my bedroom, and off of that is the room which I'll use as the study. Off of that is a hallway leading to the bathroom and the TV room. From there is the kitchen, and off that is a small window-lined room whose function has not yet been determined. Throughout the process, my father has been amazingly helpful. After the world board game championships (I'm the second best Agricola player in the world, I guess), Dad, uncle Fee, and I went here. Fee flew home the next day, and Dad has stuck around for a week helping me set up furniture, clean the place up, and move in. It's been a whirlwind of activity, and I'm exhausted. But without Dad's help, it would have been far, far worse. Hopefully, I'll be able to provide a more substantive post soon. I just got the Desktop running again, and wanted to ping the universe. If you know any helpful tips for anyone moving into Pittsburgh, or moving in general, please post a comment. 2009-08-15T22:26:39-07:00 2009-08-01T07:47:49-07:00 2009-08-01 80 false I wrote a guest blog post for DartBoston about the role of dialogue in modern social media. <a href="http://dartboston.com/on-the-role-of-dialogue-in-modern-social-media/"> Here it is. </a> 2009-08-01T07:47:49-07:00 2009-07-19T14:42:22-07:00 2009-07-19 79 false "The race is not always to the swift" -- but then, it often is. If we liken our daily struggles to footraces, and assign ourselves some appropriate quadrupedal avatar, then we sometimes find ourselves a character in Aesop's most renown fable -- that of the Tortoise and the Hare. As you already know, in this tale, a nimble Hare and a slow Tortoise engage in a footrace. The proud Hare, overly confident in his abilities, decides to treat himself to a bit of respite as the determined Tortoise continues to make progress toward the finish. By the time the Hare rouses himself from his slumber, he has already been defeated by the intrepid amphibian. Life presents a multitude of varied challenges to us each day; sometimes we are the Tortoise, and other times the Hare. There are those occasions when we have the good fortune to appear likely to succeed -- and there are other occasions when failure is the most likely outcome. Consider applying to colleges: there are some schools to which a given person is likely to be granted admission, and others from which rejection is the probably result of an application. Another example is readily found in sports; the Norwood High baseball team may be exceedingly likely to defeat the Norwood Little League team in a game, but just as likely to face defeat at the hands of the Red Sox. And so, we are cast in the role of the Tortoise some times, and in the role of the Hare other times. The Tortoise, under the usual circumstances, is going to lose to the Hare. However, as that Greek philosopher reminds us, that is not always the case. On some occasions, there may be an obfuscated yet potent advantage for the Tortoise that has been overlooked; in the fable, it is the hubris of the Hare. Moreover, also in the fable, the Tortoise may have an especially strong day while the Hare has a poor one. So, the Tortoise may upset the Hare. How so? It often requires a team effort between the two. Many readers marvel at the determination of the Tortoise in the tale. Would it not have been easy, and no doubt accepted, should the Tortoise have not tried? Would the animal kingdom look any worse upon him for accepting defeat and conserving the calories required for such a race -- an especially precious commodity for a cold-blooded creature such as he? But then, he didn't concede defeat, nor did he allow doubt to weigh him down. Shell, yes -- but not doubt. The Tortoise never let fear of failure prevent him from succeeding. And the Hare had his part in the outcome, too. He let his guard down and underestimated his foe. He scoffed at the dedicated hairless creature and was so confident that he didn't wait until after the race had concluded to rest. The Hare took victory for granted and was not granted victory. Most readers know that they can learn a thing or two from the Tortoise about not giving up hope. And when one is cast as the Tortoise, that's a fine sentiment indeed. But let us also learn from the Hare; for we are also cast in that role at times too. Let us treat each race as one we may win, and as one we may lose. 2009-07-19T14:42:22-07:00 2009-07-11T20:59:17-07:00 2009-07-11 78 false Today I spent ten hours in a rented Impala. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I'll be starting as a graduate student in the School of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon in the Fall. One of the implications of this is that I must gather up myself and my belongings and resettle them in a city far from Boston. In a word, I'm moving. While I won't actually be moving to Pittsburgh until early August, I wanted to secure an apartment well before that. I'd been advised that the good apartments would be gone by then, and I have more peace of mind knowing that I'll have somewhere to go for certain. I'd strongly dislike being a doctoral candidate living on the street. At Purdue, I was quite satisfied living in university-owned apartments. Purdue Village was inexpensive, near campus, and my neighbors were without exception silent after midnight. However, this wasn't an option for CMU; therefore, for the first time in my life, I would need to explore apartments for rent. The process began on Thursday. I decided to employ that tool so useful for nearly all purposes, the Internet. I browsed dozens of online ads for apartments, using both a school-sponsored website and Craig's List. I placed several phone calls, and by nightfall Thursday I'd lined up nine appointments. On Friday, Dad and I took an Impala we rented from Norwood all the way to Pittsburgh, a journey of eleven hours. I'm very grateful to Dad for coming along and driving; it's more driving than I would have been able to do. And I'm also glad to have had the company. We saw our first apartment that very night. On Saturday, we examined about half a dozen different apartments. Many of those we saw were quite nice. Pittsburgh has some impressive old buildings, and three different units I viewed were created in the 1920s. By that night, though, I'd decided on an apartment and handed over a check for the security deposit. Today was another day spent in the car, heading home. Mom had delicious corn bread waiting for dad and me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I first set foot in an apartment for rent. In each case, the landlord or agent was looking for someone ready and able to undertake a considerable financial responsibility. He or she was looking for someone to trust with a very valuable asset, and looking for someone trustworthy enough to hand over a rent check on time each month. At the same time, I was looking for a safe place to live, large enough to be comfortable, and at a price I could afford on my student budget. For me, selecting one apartment out of the several I saw required a combination of logical analysis and intuitive feeling. There were some apartments which I quickly dismissed through nothing other than an uneasy feeling. Other apartments felt as though they would be comfortable places to live for at least the next year. Between those, I examined their location on a map compared to the location of the computer science building. I estimated their monthly cost and then saw how each would fit into my budget. I got some input from my friend Dave, who knows about real estate. And I asked Dad his opinion many times, too. I finally narrowed the list down to one apartment. Not a bad task for a single day. That's often how I make decisions: a combination of thinking, feeling, and asking others for their thoughts. I've read that different people have different decision-making styles, and that tends to be mine. One other note is that I generally preferred the apartments being shown by, and managed by, their owners to those shown by real estate agents. Similarly, none of the apartments about which I had good feelings were found in large apartment complexes. That may have been either causal or coincidental; I'm not sure. I'm very happy with the apartment where I'll be living come August. It's the middle floor in a three-story building from the 1920s. It's spacious and open -- it has five well-lit rooms with lots of windows. It's in Squirrel Hill, which is supposed to be a nice neighborhood. And there's plenty of on-street parking. Logically, it fits my criteria for a good apartment. Intuitively, it feels correct. Of course, I still need to obtain furnishings, decide what to do about having a vehicle, select classes, learn where everything is in town and on campus, and adjust to the culture of CMU and Pittsburgh in general. But at least I'll have somewhere to stay in the meanwhile. 2009-07-11T20:59:17-07:00 2009-06-28T21:57:48-07:00 2009-06-28 77 false I've been told that it is with good reason that I have one mouth and two ears. That is why, no matter how large the group of people that I'm in, I make sure to do exactly one third of the talking. 2009-06-28T21:57:48-07:00 2009-06-17T17:16:24-07:00 2009-06-17 76 false There are no destitute vegetarians. 2009-06-17T17:16:24-07:00 2009-05-24T21:31:21-07:00 2009-05-24 75 false <br> Some nights it floats in the Western sky. <br> Other nights, it shines in the East. <br> Sometimes directly overhead -- why, <br> sometimes far off, in the least. <br> <br> But each night I stand again in awe <br> and toward the heavens cast my gaze. <br> I scan the night sky for my star; <br> it seldom fails to amaze. <br> <br> For no matter where it be, <br> as it journeys through the sky <br> I know it's always watching me <br> as its light glows in my eye. <br> <br> 2009-05-24T21:31:54-07:00 2009-05-15T10:35:40-07:00 2009-05-15 74 false Days end, and we move along in our calendar. The subtle transition of Monday into Tuesday is sufficiently signified by a shift of the digital readouts on our watches. A slightly more formal ceremony is needed as we move from May into June -- we grasp the calendar page and turn it. And for the more significant shifts in the state of our world, we have more elaborate ceremonies. It is nothing new to say that we humans mark transformations of our world and in our lives with rituals. We celebrate a birth, we perform a ritual at a death. Marriage, graduation, moving -- these transitions have their protocol as well. And the ceremonial marking of life-altering transformations is found across cultures and across periods of human history. Indeed, such rites are an indication that a group of humans is to be considered a civilization. Someone may claim that such rituals are irrational and useless, remnants of an older and less rational time in our human development. Such a person may argue that spending resources on funeral rites, or on a graduation party, is wasteful and unneeded. It is to such a person that I make this reply, and argue that there are vital benefits of ritual. Ritual ties individuals together into a stronger unit. Families have their small idiosyncrasies. Extended families have their gatherings and feasts. And while I may have little else to do with the person behind me in line for communion in church, such a ritual grants us a bond of unity. It is with these rituals, then, that we come to feel a part of a community. We come to see ourselves defined as a part of the whole. We humans are, as creatures, fairly limited in our individual capabilities. By banding together -- by becoming a part of a larger whole -- we can find the strength and organization to accomplish what no individual human could. Some of the most powerful things humans have done have been collective efforts. Some of them have been atrocious, and some amazing. Michelangelo may have painted the Sistine Chapel, but he couldn't have built the entire structure on his own. Rituals help us on a collective level. But they also help us on an individual level. Rituals help us deal with change. College Graduation is a ritual to mark the transition of a student into something else -- something which may be considered more adult-like. It is the end of one life and the rising of another. The death of man and the birth. But in a world constantly in flux, rituals help us to set milestones -- mental reminders of what has come before, that we may better know where we now stand. Rituals are the save points in our game. 2009-05-15T10:35:40-07:00 2009-05-09T17:50:28-07:00 2009-05-09 73 false Man One: When pigs fly! Man Two: The swine flew. 2009-05-09T17:50:40-07:00 2009-04-13T12:19:34-07:00 2009-04-13 71 false I have been, over the past months, applying to doctoral programs. After applying to over a dozen programs, I am very pleased to announce that I have accepted an offer. I will enter the PhD program in Computation, Organizations, and Society in the School of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon (cos.cs.cmu.edu). CMU is a great place to be studying computer science, and this program is an amazingly good match for me. My interest in computer science has for years been a combination of security and how people use computers. For example, my prior publication is on password policy simulation (available under the Files secion). This program, and my future lab in particular, manage to combine those two areas in a way I haven't seen anywhere else. They call it "usable security," which is a fine name for it. I'm looking forward to starting in August. Until then, I'll be continuing to live in Massachusetts. 2009-04-13T12:19:34-07:00 2009-03-30T14:48:10-07:00 2009-03-30 70 false Getting MWS to work on OSX This post describes, in detail, how I got Magic Workstation (MWS) running on my MacBook. There are few reasons that I would want to use anything Windows-Specific on my Mac, but playing Magic is one such reason. And until the Vintage community adopts an open-source, or at least cross-platform, program, MWS is what we are stuck with for playing against a wide field of opponents. The basic problem with getting MWS running on a Mac is that it is a Windows-based program, designed to run on PCs. Now, there are several ways to get a Windows program running on your MacBook. The first, of course, is to run Windows itself using Bootcamp or a similar strategy. In these solutions, you are actually running Windows on your MacBook. There are also third party programs which let you emulate Windows on your MacBook. You basically are running a pretend version of Windows, and in this simulated world, your Windows programs happily run. While those solutions are fine if you need to do a lot of Windows-Based computing, I'd rather find something that is Free, has a low footprint on the machine, and doesn't require that I boot into a separate operating system. And as always, being Open Source is a nice plus too. The solution that I wanted was WINE. WINE is a set of APIs which lets your Windows programs hook into your Mac computer. In non-technical terms, WINE acts as an extra layer between your Windows program and your Apple operating system to enable them to talk to one another. Unfortunately, as with many open-source projects, getting this running properly on your Mac requires several steps. In fact, WINE is actually designed for Linux computers, so getting it working on your Mac will take a bit more effort than usual. I'll guide you through those steps, and you can be running MWS on your Mac after a little bit of effort. I'll try to make this light on technical jargon and easy to follow. 1. Run "Software Update" on your Mac. Always a good step before starting a new project like this. 2. Get X11 Installed. X11 is a windowing package used in Linux. If you have Leopard, there's a copy of it on your Install disk on the Developer package. If not, or if you just don't feel like digging up that disk, you can grab a copy from here: http://xquartz.macosforge.org/trac/wiki 3. Get Darwine installed. Darwine is a OSX port of WINE. It was dropped for a while, but it appears that someone has starting maintaining it again. Here is where I got my copy (version 1.1.18): http://www.kronenberg.org/darwine/ 4. Run the Trix.app that comes with Darwine and grab a copy of the different Fonts that are available, and the different rendering packages. You'll need those to make sure things like your life total are visible. 5. Test that your WINE installation works. Inside the Darwine folder that goes on your Application folder, there will be a number of small test applications. Make sure that the clock works and that you can type in Notepad. 6. Windows, in general, will think of itself as living in what it calls a "C:" drive. In the mind of Windows programs running under Darwine, they live in "C:" while your Mac components live in "Z:". You'll probably want to navigate the area that your Windows programs consider the C: Drive. Here's how to do so. Go to your home folder. Now go there using Terminal, the command-prompt program. If you go to your home folder in Terminal and type "ls" you will be given a list of the folders that you are also viewing in the finder. Now type "ls -a" which indicates that you want to view hidden folders as well as the standard ones. Notice that you can now view a folder called ".wine". This is the hidden folder which your Windows programs will consider the C: Drive. In order to create a link to it, type in the Terminal "mv .wine wine". Now, you can see a folder called "wine" in your home folder in the Finder. Create an Alias for it, calling it something like WineHome. Then change the name of the folder back by typing in the Terminal "mv wine .wine". You can now browse your C: directory in the Finder by opening the alias. 7. Install MWS just like you would on a PC. Its default behavior will be to install itself on your WineHome folder, which it thinks is the C: drive, under "Program Files". Note that you can't just copy your preexisting MWS folder onto your PC, because MWS demands that it modify your registry in order to run. While Macs are too well-designed to have a Registry, WINE lets the MWS installer think that it has modified the registry. In actuality, it appears that WINE maintains a virtual registry for use by the Windows programs. This means that if you have a folder for MWS that you want to use from another machine, you can download and install a new version of MWS. Then Copy and Paste your old files to overwrite the new files. Your registry is then modified, and you get to keep using your old, up-to-date files. Installing MWS can be a bit tricky even on a PC, but that's outside the scope of this discussion. There's plenty of help online for that already. 8. If you have registered MWS, Copy and Pasting the old files won't mean that your new copy is registered. However, you can type in your old Registration code and that will work fine. And that's it. Best of luck with this. Please let me know how it works. Rich Shay 2009-03-30T15:10:50-07:00 2009-03-27T01:26:08-07:00 2009-03-27 69 false The day was blue, a cloudless display of brilliant Sun on the verdant grass. She saw their dark shadows cast upon that grass, which she tread with careful and deliberate steps. Past the faded white stone gate, they loomed alone on the otherwise vacant expanse. Weather and time had competed with their creators' chisels to impact their design, but the statues remained unmistakable. Here she saw Athena, clad in her armor, hands bearing Victory and shield. There she spied Ares, his countenance giving no indication of his retreat made famous by Homer. Dazzled yet green, she sat sulking beneath the towering shadow of Hera. Cheeks resting on palms, she stared up at Hermes. Never would she enjoy the clever mind of the quick god. Her eyes darted to the side, and fixed upon Hades. Her coffers would never be as full, and her influence never so pervasive. Finally, eyeing Aphrodite, she reflected that her beauty would never equal that of the goddess. With her neck bent, and her eyes on the grass, she stood. The sun began to descend as she was pacing slowly around the silent deities. Eventually, defeated, she settled under Apollo. In silence, she watched the gods. They were silent, she realized, because there was nothing for them to say. They were still, for there was nothing left for them to do. Hermes was fast, of course -- but would never grow faster. Aphrodite would never become more beautiful. While Hades had wealth, it would never increase; and there was nothing for him to do with it anyway. There was nothing left for these gods to accomplish or achieve. They had no reason to speak or move or hope or breath. They had nowhere to go but down. Within herself, she felt an unbounded potential for improvement unknown to those stone gods. Within her mortal body and fragile mind, she felt what those divine rocks never would -- the hope that she would one day become more shrewd, more powerful, and more beautiful. The hope that she would become better than she had been. The stone gods' bodies had remained in place for centuries; she knew that her soft flesh would not be so enduring. But she also knew that she would not be so fixed, so rigid, so oblivious to the outside world, and so devoid of improvement. And, thus reflecting, she stood up and did what those mighty gods could not do: she walked out of the garden. 2009-03-27T01:26:08-07:00 2009-03-11T07:52:26-07:00 2009-03-11 68 false Nothing too deep this time -- just a ping on where I am. My friend Justin indirectly reminded me that I haven't updated recently with anything about me. I'm staying with Mo Ya in Michigan, around the East Lansing area. She's going to be staying in China this summer, so it's good to see her and spend a few weeks before she vanishes for a time. She's currently in a meeting for her school program while I type this out in a coffee shop; she's a PhD student at Michigan State in Education. I played in Grand Prix Chicago. For non-Magic playing readers, those are large international tournaments for the card game Magic. I took 12th place out of over 1200 people. The real fun for those events, though, is getting to hang out with friends that you don't see all the time. I can't name names because that would go on too long and I'm sure that I'd fail to recall everyone. So, let me just give a huge thanks to all the great people who were there. In the words of a Chicago native, it was a harmony joyride. I'm still hearing back from grad schools. They've not yet all given me their decision yet, and I haven't yet made a final decision either. In any case, I'm looking forward to returning to being a grad student this fall. Finally, the first website that I developed as a consultant is up online now. A friend from Thayer Academy and I wrote this and I'm quite proud of how it turned out. It's Rating World, whose premise is that anything can be rated by anyone there. Why not <a href=http://www.ratingworld.com>Check it out ?</a> 2009-03-11T07:52:43-07:00 2009-03-05T01:26:55-08:00 2009-03-05 67 false Cheer can spring from many sources. Love. Hope. But it can also emanate from the realization that a struggle has ended -- even a struggle that was lost. Cheer can be a harbinger of an acceptance of the end of something, as well as an emotion brought about by hope. Cheerful -- that's not always an emotion to be trusted. The final realization that the struggle may end; the final acknowledgment that the battle has not been won, but it has been completed. That is not joy, not exultation -- but it may be a form of relief. Smiles are not always signs of fortune, just as tears are not always signs of calamity. 2009-03-05T01:26:55-08:00 2009-01-26T12:45:16-08:00 2009-01-26 66 false There is value in the comfortable and familiar; there is also value in the fresh and exciting. As is quite often the case for us humans, we must attempt to strike a meaningful balance between these two conflicting goods. Life devoid of one or the other would be not nearly as fulfilling and rewarding as a life which includes both predictable routine and unexpected surprises. Creating familiar routines is a necessary source of sanity. Imagine if, every time you were to take a shower, you needed to process how exactly to go about the operation. There are many steps involved in a successful shower, and if you stop and think about it, it is a fairly intricate procedure. However, you likely don't actually think about each step as you conduct your shower. Once, when you were quite small, you were taught how to take a shower, and have done much the same each day since. At this point, your shower taking is likely on auto-pilot. Similarly, many of our day-to-day activities are done without any conscious thought. Do you think about how to drive to work each day, or do you let your brain relax while your hands guide the wheel? Do you think about how your fingers work as they tie your shoes, or is this another activity done on auto-pilot? These routines, mindless and uninteresting, permeate our days. What of these thoughtless routines? There are those who will caution against them, to be sure. Be always mindful, some sages will tell you -- they will admonish you to be always conscious of your tasks. And no doubt, mindlessly being a zombie and slave to routine is no way to live one's life. A day without any conscious thought is a day which could have been lived well enough by a dog or a stalk of corn, but not the sort which gives us humans a fulfilling life. Indeed, as Socrates himself said, the unexamined life is not worth living. However, I'll disagree with the sages who state that there is no value in mindless routine. While we humans have significant cognitive capacity, it is not boundless. The virtue of these routines is that they save our brains from overload. Imagine that you did not have the benefit of routine in conducting your daily shower. How much effort would be expended in determining how to go about cleansing oneself. Reading the soap container, reading the shampoo bottle, determining a satisfactory water temperature -- the task becomes fairly arduous. In fact, as I type this, my fingers strike the keyboard without so much as a thought. Typing is, for me, routine. If instead I needed to hunt for each desired key on the keyboard, typing this up would be a nearly impossible task. In short, routines are necessary because they allow our limited brains to avoid making the same calculations again and again. Having once driven to work while thinking about it, you can trust that you have arrived at a satisfactory route and no longer give the matter much thought. And the theory behind using routine is quite sound; given a particular situation, if you have arrived at a good enough solution once, you can use that solution again the next time you encounter it. Thus is the familiar comfortable; you tend to know already what to do in familiar situations, and thus you may let your mind relax. These are the benefit of routines. However, they have their danger too. If you become too set in your routines, then you may continue in those routines even when they are no longer optimal. For example, perhaps once you have made a routine of driving to work, a new road is opened which would enable you to have a faster route; if you fail to consider this, you may cost yourself time each day. The danger of routines in thinking extends well beyond driving to work. Old notions about social policy, political theory, and governance may persist long after they have been shown to be incorrect by history. Even in matters of such grave importance, it is often far easier to follow a routine blindly rather than think actively about what is transpiring. Beyond the danger of being under the yoke of a doctrine long past its time, to eschew all that is novel is to close off one's life to excitement, adventure, and fresh experiences. Adrenaline is reserved for those occasions whose ending remains murky. You also learn more from new situations, as you are forced to engage your mind rather than rely on those paths already carved by experience into your brain. Socrates' admonition about the unexamined life not being worth living does not mean that each of our daily activities must be scrutinized, but it does mean that we should at least put some of our lives under a microscope. And there it is. To live a life in which every decision and activity is thoroughly examined would lead to madness, as the brain is overburdened. To live a life without any new experiences is to abandon much of what makes the human experience so colorful and worthwhile. We are blind in total darkness, and we are blinded staring at the sun. 2009-01-26T12:45:16-08:00 2009-01-06T22:13:57-08:00 2009-01-06 65 false Grant peace. I am not praying for justice. Peace transcends justice; for in peace, the oppressed receive a greater bounty than in justice, while the oppressor also enjoys a more virtuous prosperity. Therefore, grant peace. 2009-01-06T22:13:57-08:00 2008-12-28T22:16:48-08:00 2008-12-28 64 false This world is at once hideous and beautiful. We humans have created for ourselves a construct beyond hope and fear, yet not beyond good and evil. Come, dear one, and take my hand. Let us walk. The wind is fierce and we can see the tempest looming in the distance. The dark funnel dominates the once azure sky. And now the sirens have sounded, and the wind whips through our hair. It carries droplets which foretell an ocean. But take my hand, dear one. Grasp hard -- I promise not to cry out if you don't. Come stroll with me through the thunderous showers. Together we shall mock the grey sky and challenge the hoarse wind. The rain will wash the tears from your cheek and leave that damp spot where I kissed you. When the clouds have been blown past, we can take turns jumping in the puddles. Come, dear one. Take all that you want, but please don't take yourself away. 2008-12-28T22:16:48-08:00 2008-12-19T20:02:32-08:00 2008-12-19 63 false The human condition is one of being confronted at one end with the ravages of nature and at the other end with the failings of the frail human mind. Nature shall, eventually, unravel what we have done. Ancient civilizations, as the years pass, find their artifacts buried increasingly deep by nature, and today our nation is not so advanced that it is beyond the grasp of a hurricane. The human mind, novel though it may be, is also not sufficiently advanced. The shortcomings of our species are obvious, and we've been consistent in eradicating our most promising instances. Given this Scylla and this Charybdis, what means do we have of emerging from any given day with our sanity intact? I recommend cleaning. Yes, that's right -- simple old cleaning. Nothing, I've found, soothes my mind quite like reorganizing what carelessness has disheveled, sweeping what dust has coated, and cleansing what grime has conquered. In my most troubled mindset, you'll often find me in my room, dueling with Entropy. To duel with Entropy is to grapple with that most basic of human challenges -- the struggle to make order out of chaos. We are born into a capricious and haphazard world, a world inhospitable and threatening to human life. From that storm, we humans first crafted civilization; we grabbed the reins of nature and carved out a section of the universe not quite as subject to chaos. As time progressed, our means have become more sophisticated, and the societies we have created have become increasingly complex. But at their core, they serve a similar fundamental purpose: to protect order in the face of the chaotic Leviathan. We humans are conceived in chaos. We are born after undergoing a chaotic nine months. And right after birth, we are immediately welcomed into civilization by willful acts of control. The doctor removes the fluids on our bodies, and we are bound in clothing. We are sorted into male and female and labeled, through our first blue or pink costume, accordingly. As we grow, we continue to battle with Entropy. Cancer is chaotic cell growth. War is a chaotic human affair. Death is the precursor to the final submission to the entropy which we call decay. In life, though, we achieve temporary victories over the chaos. When we adorn our bodies, we are choosing how we look, rather than accepting what we are given. When we decline a tempting dessert, we are choosing to exert our will over the appetitive aspects of our mind. When we undergo those endeavors which mark us as unique and distinct from the bulk of humanity, we are choosing to proclaim our control over ourselves -- we are proclaiming our humanity. And so, if you need me, I'll be in my room, battling for the good of humanity. With a vacuum. 2008-12-20T15:36:51-08:00 2008-12-08T15:16:45-08:00 2008-12-08 62 false You say "Focus." I say "Gosh Darn." 2008-12-08T15:16:45-08:00 2008-11-22T11:42:42-08:00 2008-11-22 61 false This is quite an interesting discussion. Please allow me to share my thoughts, as a Christian and as a scientist. Bare in mind, however, that I am not a Christian Scientist. First, let us be clear about what science is and is not. I take my understanding of this from Richard Feynman. Those articles which fall under the domain of science are those which enable us to make falsifiable statements. In other words, a scientific statement is one which can be proven to be false. If a statement is not able to be proven false, then it is not a statement under the domain of science. Therefore, the statement, "God Exists" is not a statement which falls under the domain of science, assuming that we use the common meaning of God. Nor is the statement "God does not exist" a falsifiable statement. Were I, then, to yoke myself to the plow of science and swear fealty to it as my sole master, I would be left in a state of ignorance about God. I, likewise, would be in such a state regarding my musical taste, preference in ice cream flavors, and choice of hobbies. Moreover, I would be devoid of dreams, ambitions, direction, and aspirations. That is because science is not sufficient for a worthwhile life. Rather, science is nothing other than a tool of negation. Science does nothing other than act as a knife and allow us to cut through false statements. Which questions shall we use science to answer? What do scientific facts imply about our condition as humans? In which areas should we as a society devote our intellectual capital? Those are all questions beyond the scope of science, and yet questions essential to harnessing properly the power of science. These are the questions with which public servants, philosophers, and other broadly-minded individuals grapple, but not questions for whose answers we may turn to science. We may not expect the hammer to inform us of which nails we ought to strike, nor may we ask the saw which wood we ought to cut. These are questions outside the scope of those tools. 2008-11-22T11:42:42-08:00 2008-11-10T21:40:48-08:00 2008-11-10 60 false Here it is, oh elders. Your childhood, your youth. What did you buy with it? You spoke of peace, you spoke of love. You broke walls and you sang songs. You saw the world and its vice and sought to tear it apart. You saw the fissure and sought to mend it. You hoped to replace the sword with the plowshare. A beautiful dream, oh elders. You sang of peace and you sang of change. You expanded your hearts and you expanded your minds. You read and you wrote. You flailed in the dark for something -- anything to replace the sterile grime into which you were born. I won't ask you whether the machine was destroyed, because that question's answer is far too depressing to express. But I will ask you whether you did your part, if not to shrink it, then at least to cast some light on it. I can ask you if you helped bring us closer to the Divine but we were closer in the past and lies are spreading faster than truth. You gave us, in those years, so many powerful memories; but how quickly we forget the horrors of war and the terror of a fearful populace. How quickly we flock back to the wolves. Not all for nought, oh generation. You have not toiled in vein. We must forgive ourselves for being quick to lapse, as overcoming our collective inertia is hard. It is even more to your credit, then, that you were able to instill in us a sense of equality and liberty which has not as easily washed off. Have we at last completed the journey? No, but we have not reverted; we press on. If your legacy be found in how we embrace questions, better to ask than to hope. If your legacy be found in a dream, may we not awaken into a static world. If your legacy be found in music, know that it has never been the same, it has never been as good. If your legacy be found in rights, then behold. 2008-11-10T21:40:48-08:00 2008-11-04T23:18:33-08:00 2008-11-04 59 false "This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change." -- President Elect Barack Hussein Obama God Bless America. 2008-11-04T23:18:46-08:00 2008-11-01T21:01:08-07:00 2008-11-01 58 false Tonight was a special one. My family and I went into Boston, to the Westin Copley, for a charity dinner. His Beatitude Ignatius IV, Patriarch of Antioch and all the East, was present for his first North American appearance in my lifetime, as far as I know. Metropolitan Philip, ambassadors from Syria and Lebanon, and a former Lebanese Foreign Minister were all in attendance. We were even visited by Cardinal Sean O’Malley in what I found to be a very positive display of Christian unity. A great night. 2008-11-01T21:01:08-07:00 2008-10-24T23:22:23-07:00 2008-10-24 57 false She knows that there are many people, so distinguishing herself becomes more difficult. She knows that there are many people, so distinguishing herself becomes all the more important. She knows that there are many people, and therefore can no longer envision herself as one among the crowd. She has come to see the embrace of the many, the embrace of mediocrity, as smothering rather than comforting. She knows that there are many people, and that there are twice as many eyes. She knows that there are many people, but that she is never second. 2008-10-24T23:23:16-07:00 2008-10-09T00:16:57-07:00 2008-10-09 56 false Inspired by an Icon: The Alpha is the Omega. Inspired by Heraclitus and Aristotle: When a tadpole becomes a frog, does the tadpole still exist? There is no longer a tadpole; in that sense, the tadpole clearly does not exist anymore. On the other hand, the creature which was the tadpole remains, having undergone a metamorphosis. Inspired by Tonight's Dialogue: We are first born. We then renew and are reborn. The process of birth is excruciating and yet is somehow beautiful. From one to two, from woman to both child and mother. Through the blood is created both the child and the bond between child and mother. The plow tears asunder the earth, and the destruction of the soil enables it to give rise to new life. Through the destruction we find creation. The grain arises from its earthen tomb to bask in the sunlight. The fire scorches the forest, and from the burnt ashes new vegetation emerges. 2008-10-09T00:16:57-07:00 2008-10-07T02:16:08-07:00 2008-10-07 55 false See that cloud in the sky? It's composed of small water particles. In a little while, it will rain, and that cloud will break apart into rain drops and smother the earth. The placid cloud becomes a storm and vanishes. There may be more clouds in the future, but entropy means it is unlikely that those same rain drops will ever form their own cloud again. 2008-10-07T02:16:08-07:00 2008-10-05T18:23:11-07:00 2008-10-05 54 false Based on something Dad said. In time of peace, the sage gives direction. In time of war, the emperor issues orders. The sage is loved but the emperor is feared. When the sage walks by, the peasants wave hello. When the emperor walks by, the peasants fall on their faces bowing. But when they wave, the peasants are still working; when they are on their knees, the peasants can't do anything else. 2008-10-05T18:23:11-07:00 2008-09-28T14:16:15-07:00 2008-09-28 53 false Maybe it is raining, but that makes the grass grow greener tomorrow. Maybe the concrete is grey, but that gives it a needed rinsing. The strong gusts which drive the falling droplets also spread plant seeds and ensure their survival. The small animals now taking shelter from the rain will soon drink the water which it has provided. While I spend today inside because of the rain, I can spend tomorrow harvesting a more bountiful crop from our garden. The rain gives me a headache, which in turn reminds me to be thankful for being alive. 2008-09-28T14:16:15-07:00 2008-09-23T01:19:54-07:00 2008-09-23 52 false If I made a poor investment, would the banks bail me out? 2008-09-23T01:19:54-07:00 2008-09-07T23:10:10-07:00 2008-09-07 51 false In the simple days of ideal youth, we find cause for exultation in objects. We raise up our hands in joy on seeing an owl at the zoo. We shout with glee at Sesame Street. The very face of our mother brings us a smile. Age and experience weather and wither our naive innocence, and likewise our ability to be thunderstruck by simple items, trinkets, and vistas. Have we then lost something? Have we, by striding through our upbringing and education, swallowed the apple and been cast out of the garden of childlike wonder? Are we doomed forever to remain unable to recoup that wide-eyed wonder at an owl or a face or the simple taste of a cupcake? No. In fact, we've become able to be struck with wonder at a far deeper level. In youth, we find joy in objects, in instances. As we grow older, we become able to perceive the beauty not only in the instance but also in the form or idea. We now can see the Owl, but can moreover appreciate the delicate structure of bone and feather which enables her to create lift and thereby fly. We can ponder the excruciating detail implemented in her circulatory system, and the process where the entire complex package fits into a living, breathing creature. We can now understand better the work, time, effort, and dedication that is poured into our favorite television program, and feel a gratitude unavailable to a child. And we can appreciate our mother's face far better now than when we were a smiling toddler. We get through the instances and into the forms, and learn a new kind of wonder. 2008-09-07T23:10:10-07:00 2008-09-01T22:28:52-07:00 2008-09-01 50 false As a long-time fan of Apple, I have been enjoying my MacBook since Christmas. It has opened to me an entirely new world of productivity and connectivity, being able to get on the internet and do work nearly anywhere. Wrap this potency in an aesthetically pleasing white shell and blue interface and you have a favorite toy. Having not used a Mac for several years prior, I am very happy with Leopard, the current Mac operating system. Built atop Unix, Leopard finally accomplishes what the Open Source movement has long sought to do -- build a nice interface on the most powerful operating system in existence. Among Leopard's add-on features is File Vault. It is a program by Apple, part of the core system, designed to protect your files from anyone who might seek illicit access. It encrypts your home folder. In other words, it uses the power of math to lock up your files, making sure that only someone with the special key can open them. When you log in as a user, it asks for your password and unlocks the files. When you log out or shut down, it locks the files up again. The files are not just hidden behind a password like they are on most systems. The files themselves are scrambled, and only the password can unscramble them. Or, at least, it is supposed to be able to unscramble them. In my case, not so much. I had been working on my research, and traveling had prevented my making convenient backups for two weeks. One otherwise fine day, while my research-writing FileVaulted account was open, my MacBook failed to shut down properly. The encryption didn't properly lock back up, and I could not get back into that account. Eight hours later, my other accounts on the MacBook were fine, and now FileVault free, but the account with my research was entombed under a broken encryption mess. When I went to the Apple Store, the geniuses there told me that FileVault should not be used. I really wish that I was told that before it made my writing into an omelet. The lesson? Security measures that hurt you more than any potential malicious user are not security at all. 2008-09-01T22:28:52-07:00 2008-08-25T22:24:59-07:00 2008-08-25 49 false Tonight was the wake for the Very Reverend Father Nifon Abraham. Father Nifon was my priest from birth until he retired around a decade ago. This priest spent forty years serving the community of the Saint George Orthodox Church in Norwood, Massachusetts. In this capacity, he touched countless lives and dispensed copious wisdom. Tonight's full church was a testament to the number of people whose lives were made better due to one person. I have no doubt, Father Nifon was a very holy man. Among his virtues was the ability to deliver excellent sermons, in a thick Syrian accent. Here are a few of my favorites, recounted as best I can. These have stayed in my mind for at least a decade. <blockquote> A man and his son were walking through a field when a snake snuck up on them and bit the son. The son died of the poison, and the father in anger struck the snake with a knife, cutting off his hind half. The snake slithered off. Years pass, and once again the farmer and snake met each other in the field. "Let us forgive and forget," said the farmer. The snake responded, "You cannot forget your lost son, nor can I forget that I am missing my end. But let us forgive. We can forgive, but cannot forget." </blockquote > And this one. <blockquote > I saw a women standing outside the mall recently, on a cold Winter day. She had the handle of a baby carriage in one hand and a sign in the other. The sign asked passersby to give her food, stating that she and her child were cold and hungry. I at first thought of giving her something, so that she might feed herself and her infant. But then I thought about it. Were she simply concerned with the well-being of her child, she would bring her into the warm mall rather than standing out in the cold. Instead, she was using her child as a way to create sympathy and induce people to give her money. I gave her nothing. </blockquote > I remember Father Nifon telling me, as a young Altar Boy, to stand with my hands either at my side or clasped in front of me, not in my pockets or behind me. I remember encountering Father Nifon a couple of years ago while we were both taking walks; he told me that walking was good for the body and good for the soul. No one could forget his beautiful singing, in English and Arabic, as he conducted the liturgy. Looking at him, talking with him, I knew he was holy. The last two times I saw Father Nifon alive were just this summer. Father Nifon was, until his death, still teaching Arabic at the local seminary, and he ran out of ink for his typewriter. Unable to find the needed printer cartridges, Father Nifon decided to learn how to use a computer to create documents. At the age of eighty years, he was still so dedicated to his teaching that he was willing to learn how to use a computer to better teach his students. So, Dad and I went to his house twice to teach him about using Microsoft Word. The house which contained the garden he still lovingly tended. Father Nifon and his wife were the finest hosts one could hope for. Effie, his wife, prepared food for us while we showed Father how he could create documents on his computer. He was especially pleased to learn that he could create borders for his pages. I remember admiring the spirit shown by an 80 year old willing to learn new ways to do things. The feeling of visiting Father Nifon was that of visiting a close member of the family. And of course, Effie always kept the house immaculate. I was willing to try raw lamb that she had prepared and ground herself, something I would not trust almost any restaurant to do. Father Nifon married my grand parents. He married my parents. He has been a part of my life from baptizing me to blessing my family's home to conducting the liturgy for fifteen years to still serving the occasional liturgy when our usual priest couldn't make it. He is loved and he will be missed. Of all people, death must scare him the least, for he has always been a man with God. May God bless his wife Effie, his daughter Mona, and his three grand children. May his memory be eternal. 2008-08-25T22:25:36-07:00 2008-08-07T21:12:47-07:00 2008-08-07 48 false Youth is not beauty. Age is not wisdom. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give is receiving another's gift with a smile. 2008-08-07T21:12:47-07:00 2008-07-29T21:48:18-07:00 2008-07-29 47 false To keep an orchard healthy, we must plant new trees, and prune the existing trees. Unhealthy trees must be chopped down lest they infect the others. In Omega we find Alpha. Jesus said that to save one's life, one must lose it. Nietzsche, in a similar manner, states that the birth of the overman comes only through the death of man. Therefore, the process of self-improvement is a morbid one, in the sense that to improve the self requires the abolition of certain aspects of the self. To improve the self, we must do more than to accumulate additional virtue and excellence; we must also purge ourselves of our shortcomings. Oftentimes, we fall into routines and patterns which are inconsistent with our proper development. Consider, for example, that one wishes to lose weight. There are, of course, those new things one must take up in order to achieve this. One does well to adopt a workout routine, and to learn more about proper nutrition. These are things one can gather to oneself to succeed in weight loss. Yet, in addition to these augmentations, to lose weight one must rid oneself of those qualities which are detrimental to the objective. Does one have the habit of eating when under stress? That must be purged. Does one eat when bored? Nervous? Happy? These too must be extirpated from the body. Heraclitus indicates that the same Logos is responsible for creation and destruction. Creation requires destruction, and improvement requires creation. Thus improvement requires destruction. Just as I have previously pointed out that breath requires inhaling and exhaling, to improve the self requires creating the self anew, and destroying the self too. 2008-07-29T21:48:18-07:00 2008-07-21T11:01:08-07:00 2008-07-21 46 false This is a great example of how many security features work. Valet keys are copies of keys that operate a vehicle, but they don't open the glove compartment or sometimes the trunk. Perhaps you've seen them. The idea behind these keys is that you can give your keys to a valet without worrying about whether that valet can rummage through your personal belongings and steal from the glove compartment. That sounds reasonable, right? Sadly, like so many security features, this is more feel-good placebo than anything else. Think about it. You've just trusted this complete stranger with your keys and allowed him to drive off in your car. You're probably planning to give him a tip for doing so. If he wanted to steal not only the glove compartment but also the entire remainder of the vehicle as well, he's quite well equipped to do so. 2008-07-21T11:01:08-07:00 2008-07-18T01:07:54-07:00 2008-07-18 45 false The word "cynic" in Greek means dog-like. Dogs are pack animals. The cynic, then, derives identity as much from his web of friends and family as from anything else. Who I am and what I am could not be packed in a suitcase. Much of who and what I am can be defined only in the context of the network of other humans around me. Family and friends -- these are as much what I am as anything else. I am in a substantial way defined by the supersets of which I am an element. Must I be confined by the skin surrounding me? Could I extirpate myself from the mesh of humans around me? Could I strip away the core values instilled in me since birth? Can I discard the lessons learned from my adolescence and youth? To do so would be suicide. I am I. I am in no small part the product of what has been poured into me, and the feedback I have received when I have poured out myself. Therefore, to abandon my past and what has long been my home is to abandon a part of what I am -- to abandon a part of myself. The dog is as much defined by the environment wherein that dog was raised, and the others around the dog, as anything innate in the dog. 2008-07-18T01:07:54-07:00 2008-07-12T12:22:15-07:00 2008-07-12 44 false It was said by the ancient Romans that for each human life, Zeus sprinked sorrow, and only some humans were given a mix of sorry and happiness. That the human life is difficult, and oftentimes mingled with unhappiness, has been long documented. But today, let's try to put a positive aspect of that unhappiness. I'll theorize that human unhappiness is among the greatest stimuli for the progress of the human species. Peering down from a high window at the New England landscape, one sees forests smothering those areas yet untouched by human hands, while signs of human progress account for the concrete majority of the landscape. The juxtaposition of verdant and artifice is sufficient to call to mind the extent to which we humans have transformed the planet, for better and for worse. Whatever the implications of the changes we've made, much of it comes from our innate unhappiness. Suppose that we were all creatures easily content with whatever nature had given us. Then, we would be far less likely to take implement in hand and begin to reconstruct our world to our own needs and whims. Yet it is our inability to be happy with the state of things around us, and the subsequent urge to change those things, that has lead us to construct huts and palaces. It is our inability to take what is given to us that has lead us to create far more than we have been given. Unhappiness, then, has been quite a muse. Not all of the changes made to our environment have been positive, but they have certainly included many positive effects on our world, at least as far as we humans are concerned. This is part of what makes us human. 2008-07-12T12:22:15-07:00 2008-07-09T18:03:15-07:00 2008-07-10 43 false "Washington, D.C. - The U.S. Senate this afternoon passed the FISA Amendments Act, broadly expanding the president's warrantless surveillance authority and unconstitutionally granting retroactive immunity to telecommunications companies that participated in the president's illegal domestic wiretapping program." -- EFF.org <a href=http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2008/07/09> Here's the story. </a> Obama voted for this unconstitutional, illegal bill. I'm really disappointed in him. 2008-07-09T18:54:25-07:00 2008-07-09T00:38:39-07:00 2008-07-09 42 true Sometimes the worst thing is getting exactly what you wanted. 2008-07-09T00:38:39-07:00 2008-07-04T23:03:36-07:00 2008-07-04 41 false <center> <br /> We <br /> must breath; <br /> without breath, <br /> we may not <br /> live.<br /> To breath, we must inhale and we must exhale.<br /> Which is the true breath, the inhale or the exhale?<br /> The question is wrong; one is not greater or more true than the other.<br /> Each depends on the other.<br /> Inhaling undoes exhaling.<br /> Exhaling undoes inhaling.<br /> Inhaling needs exhaling.<br /> Exhaling needs inhaling.<br /> To inhale, first exhale.<br /> To exhale, first inhale.<br /> Neither is sufficient.<br /> Through both we are sustained.<br /> <br /> </center> 2008-07-04T23:08:49-07:00 2008-06-30T13:01:57-07:00 2008-06-30 40 false The majority of my posts, as you know, have nothing autobiographical about them. However, having just returned from Origins 2008, I've decided to write about the excellent time that I had playing games nearly nonstop for six days. It was an amazingly good time, and something that I've attended with my father for thirteen years now. Each year, for the past 12 years, my father, Uncle Fee, Guy, and I have made a journey to play games with thousands of our closest friends at the game convention known as Origins. Origins is an enormous game convention, a conclave of all manner of folks who enjoy flipping cards, casting dice, and punching out paper tokens. There are board games, card games, roleplaying games, and any other sort you might imagine. The entire Greater Columbus Convention Center is for the better part of a week overrun with gamers of all sorts, of which a non-zero percentage are dressed up as vampires for the weekend. This year started early. On June 26, Dad, Uncle Fee, and I boarded a jet to take us to Columbus, Ohio. Dad and Fee have been going to this together for the past 34 years. It began as a gaming convention held during the summer in college dorms and has blossomed into the having 14,000 people. For over a decade, it has been held at the Greater Columbus Convention Center. The first surprise of the convention occurred when we arrive at the airport at six in the morning. Although Dad had ordered three tickets already, the self-service checkin machine was unable to spit out our tickets for us. After talking with the customer service representative from Delta, it turns out that the computers had become confused by having two different passengers registering together with the same name. My father has somehow ended up also being named Richard Shay, and this apparently caused sufficient confusion to the antiquated mainframe systems in use that only a single Richard Shay managed to be recorded as having a ticket. I can't imagine that including a middle initial field in the process would have cost all that much. After a game of Settlers of Catan while waiting for this to be resolved, we discard our coffees and board the small direct flight to Ohio. We reach the Midwest after a sleep-infused flight and take a taxi to the Columbus Hyatt. The hotel, which is connected to the convention center, has not failed to be a fine place to rest between long gaming sessions; this year would be no exception. As has been the case for many years, our old friend Guy meets us there from New Jersey. Fee and Guy split a room while Dad and I have an adjoining room. We get in a brief nap, grab a bite from the hotel's food court, and then waste no time in grabbing Fee's copy of Power Grid and finding ourselves a table. Guy is off to set up his booth in the dealer area, so it becomes a three-player game. Power Grid is a Euro game. "Euro" is a genre of game, named as such because most of them are designed in Europe; fortunately, they are often translated and distributed in English too. These games are classified, for the most part, by being resource management games. The most well-known game of this sort of likely to be Settlers of Catan, a great game for gamers and non-gamers alike. In Power Grid each player assumes control over a power company attempting to provide power to as many cities as possible while maximizing profit. The game itself is a blast to play, and no small challenge; it requires carefully managing resources, and outbidding other players for ownership of power plants. As we are playing our game, an Origins volunteer ambles past, hauling behind him a sizeable cart full of boxes. He pauses and observes that we are the first game of the convention. He asks where we are from; we look up and say that we're from Norwood. He says, "Nice, Norwood, Ohio" before he continues away. I bolt up from my chair and catch him down the hallway, informing him that we are in fact from Norwood, Massachusetts. "Even better" comes the reply. After the game of Power Grid is finished, we three are all given nice messenger bags for being the first gamers actually playing at that year's convention. Registration itself follows. We had all preregistered, but needed to spend some time in line getting our tickets. Given its size and usual inefficiency, preregistering for Origins is essential to save large amounts of time. Later that weekend, when the line was small, it took thirty minutes for me to order some generic tickets and a ribbon to admit me to the boardgame room. Given the number of people who attend, the line can grow to enormous proportions. Dinner that night was at BD's, which is a great Mongolian Barbeque. I don't think that I saw any actual Mongolians working there, but nonetheless the concept is a fun way to eat. Diners take plates up to the buffet which includes vegetables, noodles, and raw meats. They then select sauces from a wide variety. The entire thing is then tossed atop a large circular grill where it is cooked by two rather enthusiastic workers. The food is flavorful and the process itself is fun. Thus concludes the first day or Origins. The rest of the weekend followed suite. While there was much less Magic at Origins this year than I would have preferred, it was made up for by a bountiful array of other gaming options. There was, as the saying goes, never a dull moment. I played Magic, more Power Grid, San Juan, Race for the Galaxy, Settlers of Catan, and likely more that I can't recall now before the week had finished. The highlight of the Magic side of things was getting to play Magic with the father of the man who founded Wizards of the Coast, Peter Adkison. After that, Peter and his father Gary and I had a good discussion about gaming in general, and the state of role playing games. I even described some of my current research with Gary. They were both awesome guys; it was a nice surprise to get to hang out with a legend in the gaming world. I asked both to sign a Magic card for me, and those two cards are in my Vintage deck now. Thanks to Dad, Uncle Fee, Guy, and everyone I hung out with at Origins -- Chuck, Chad, Nate, Eric, Jason, Steve, Gary, Peter, and anyone whom I'm forgetting. Looking forward to next year already. 2008-06-30T13:02:59-07:00 2008-06-23T12:32:32-07:00 2008-06-23 39 false Last week, the House passed a measure which is an affront to the United States, the rule of law, and the Constitution. That measure, H.R. 6304, the FISA Amendments Act, is scheduled for a vote in the Senate this week. What does the Act do? Among other things, it grants retroactive immunity to the telecom corporations who collaborated with President Bush in illegally and unconstitutionally spying on you and me. Under this legislation, a letter from the president is sufficient to grant immunity to corporations for domestic spying. The courts are circumvented and the law-breaking corporations are safe. Here are some links to information about it: <a href=http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2008/06/20> EFF </a> <br /> <a href=http://www.aclu.org/safefree/spying/fisa.html> ACLU </a> Now, what are the implications of this bill, if it became law? First, it sets the terrible precedent of corporations going unpunished for acting illegally. The president already has the power to grant pardons to illegal behavior should he wish to do so. Masking the de facto pardon through such a bill serves only to obscure the nefarious details of what has occurred. The bill is a violation of the principle of the rule of law, on which this nation has always depended. Second, by preventing the matter from going through the courts, the checks and balances of the three branches of the United States government are hindered. Are corporations breaking the law at the request of the president? That is the very sort of thing that the courts should be determining. Under this bill, a note from the office of the president is sufficient to preclude litigation against the telecom corporations. But it is not within the authority of the president to decide what is and is not illegal. By usurping this vital function from the courts, the president is consolidating in the executive one of the key functions of the judiciary. Third, and above all, the Constitution itself is being trampled upon by not only this one bill but by the entire conclave of domestic spying under programs launched by this administration. The fourth amendment of the Constitution clearly stipulates that the sort of domestic spying program conducted by this administration, and assisted by the telecom corporations, is illegal. Congress cannot pass a law to legalize it; Congress cannot alter the constitution on its own. Therefore, Congress lacks the authority to declare a Constitutional violation to be legal -- meaning that what the president has done, with the assistance of the telecom corporations, is not something that Congress can make legal. In conclusion, this is a disastrous bill -- yet another bill which will harm all Americans by taking from us our freedom. There are those who will tell you that these measures are necessary for security. Are we under more threat now than we were during the second World War? Are we really in worse shape now than we were during the Cold War? By no means! And if we could survive those crucibles without sacrificing the very freedoms that make our nation great in the first place, why should we abandon our liberty now? 2008-06-23T12:34:22-07:00 2008-06-18T19:46:22-07:00 2008-06-18 38 false Is the concept of a military draft a threat to the Constitution of the United States? I believe that it is, and I will endeavor to explain my reasoning. The first point that I will make is that members of the armed forces are not given constitutional protection. The military system has its own system of law enforcement, and so a member of the military does not have access to the courts the same way that a civilian might. Members of the military are prevented from speaking out against the president, and thus do not have the freedom of speech that a civilian does. I have heard of troops in Iraq being banned from taking Bibles into the country; thus freedom of religion is stifled for military personnel too. In this way and in many others that you may conjure to mind, those in the military are not under the aegis of the Constitution as civilians are. The next point is that drafted military personnel are in the military against their will. That is, of course, part of the definition of the draft. They are also not in the military on account of any crime which they have commit, or because they have violated any law. Thus, the draft seizes people who have not willfully signed up to be in the military, and who have not violated the law. Therefore, the military draft is the process of removing constitutional protections from people against their will and despite their obeying the law. The protections of the Constitution should not be able to removed so capriciously as they are. And certainly law-abiding citizens should not fear that their constitutional rights may be snatched away from them at the government's whim. In the absolute worst case, the government could in theory declare that everyone has been drafted into the military, and therefore constitutional protections do not apply to anyone anymore. You might say that the military does not have a draft. But men are still required to fill out selective service cards, and it is not so long ago that there was a draft. The practice is still viewed by nearly everyone as perfectly legal despite its violation of the Constitution. And you might make a point of the military necessity of a draft. But then I'd ask you just how necessary any conflict has been in the past sixty years. 2008-06-18T19:46:22-07:00 2008-06-12T11:47:03-07:00 2008-06-12 37 false There are those governmental tasks which even the most staunch libertarian would agree are essential for our government to function. Almost all people agree that our nation requires highways and military protection and a police force to be provided by the government at some level. I am writing this post to state that education is to be counted among those basic, essential services which our government must provide, and provide well. In other words, strong public education is not just a nice thing or a good thing, but something which is absolutely essential to our nation's success. Our nation is, while not a democracy, at least a nation in which the entire populace plays some role in determining the course of the nation. In other words, we are sufficiently democratic that we at least decide many important questions through transnational consensus. And thus our national rudder is at least in some part swayed by the overall decision-making capacity of the populace. In other words, were our nation to become, as a whole, unable to make decisions well, then it would not be long before the entire nation began to go off course and to suffer. Were all of the decision-making confined to a single group or family as has often been the case historically, then we could be safe with only those few select people being given strong decision-making abilities. However, in our more egalitarian society, we are able to be thrown off course by the majority, should that majority be wrong in its decisions. And that is why a solid education is crucial to our success. We as a nation have been designed in such a way that an uneducated majority could easy lead us astray. So, how is public education doing right now? Are our present public schools doing their jobs well? To answer this question, simply look at where our nation is, and look at the direction in which we are headed. Look a the leaders that we as a nation have been electing. Then you'll have your measure of the success of the public schools, more accurate than any federally-mandated examination. 2008-06-12T11:47:03-07:00 2008-06-09T11:15:52-07:00 2008-06-09 36 false Call to your mind Plato's cave. There are herds of humans, chained to benches, staring at a wall. In the back of the cave, there are large flames burning. And with those fires, some men standing and using their hands to cast shadows on the wall. The humans, chained to their benches, spend their days discussing and observing the shadows cast against the wall, mistaking those mere shadows for true reality. Given this scenario, Plato describes a man leaving the cave and seeing the light outside of the cave -- the light of reality. This man, on his return to the cave, is beaten and killed by those in the cave, who are unable to have their world view shattered by the truth. This man is likely Socrates, who was killed by his fellow Athenians for attempting to impart his wisdom onto them. The account can also be seen as referring to Jesus, also killed by his society when attempting to impart a deeper understanding. Plato never tells us why the chained masses ought to be freed from the cave, but I assume that their inherent value as humans is sufficient to make their liberation a worthy aim. Plato, in addition, does not let us know how their liberation, or enlightenment, might be accomplished. Would that I could write this post and offer you a solution. Instead, much like Plato, I am just going to describe what would not work for that purpose. Imagine that there were a dragon. The dragon is a powerful creature, and capable of causing terrible destruction with his talons and breath. The dragon can extinguish and the dragon can obliterate. The dragon, however, is incapable of creation. His talons do not afford him the ability to grasp and to construct. His frenetic mind has not the structure for assembling order from chaos. He is, then, a create of deletion and destruction but devoid of creation -- Omega devoid of Alpha. Now allow this creature to run rampant through the cave. He slaughters the scheming puppet masters. He snuffs out the fires burning in the back of the cave. He rends asunder the chains binding the humans to their benches and thereby allows them to amble freely. Then, allow our dragon to exit the cave, all things destroyed except the humans, now free from their chains. And, in this new paradigm, what would the humans do? Without puppeteers or flames or chains, unbound by their tethers and unburdened by their mesmerizing puppet show, would these humans find their way out of the cave? Perhaps a few would; perhaps a number of adventurous souls would journey around, eventually stumbling their way out of the cave. But the majority of humans, I believe, would not venture out. Although their chains are now gone, they would continue to sit just where their chains had prior bound them. Given the choice between leaving the familiar and known setting, or forcing their atrophied muscles to propel them into the unknown, they would mostly opt for the former. Thus, to liberate and enlighten those bound up in the cave, it would not be enough to destroy the mechanism which enslaves them. It is not enough to perform just an act of selective obliteration. What is required is a mixing of creation and destruction. Removing the apparatus of servitude must be accompanied by an infusion of new understanding and wisdom. The force of habit, and the indoctrination by the puppet masters, remains a bond and shackle every bit as strong as the physical restraints. It is only by creating a new paradigm, and giving a new wisdom to the humans while their physical chains are being broken, that the humans can truly be freed from the cave. 2008-06-09T11:19:42-07:00 2008-06-06T22:16:43-07:00 2008-06-06 35 false How does one improve a skill? How does one come to become better at test taking, at karate, at playing a game, or at anything else? In this post, I will reflect on a few concepts which have helped me to improve different skills. If you have any to add, please leave a comment. The road to improvement is long and difficult, and without tenacity and dedication it is very difficult to traverse. Therefore, the first step in improving oneself in any skill is to desire the improvement. Humans, like objects, have inertia -- all else being equal we tend to remain stuck in our ways. The desire to improve oneself, then, is an important first step in actually improving because it provides motivation for change. Desire to improve can provide the momentum to make the sometimes difficult changes necessary to bring about improvement. For example, suppose that I were to lose weight. If I did not value losing weight, then I would be unwilling to make the sometimes difficult life changes needed to lose weight. Exercising more and giving up junk food are both sacrifices. If I do not actually desire to lose weight, or if this desire is not as great as the desires I have to avoid working out and to continue to enjoy my junk food, then I will make no progress in losing weight. The next step in any improvement is to admit to one's imperfection. Consider that if anything can be improved, it cannot also be perfect; for whatever is perfect cannot be improved. Therefore, to wish to improve oneself is to realize that there is imperfection in oneself. It follows naturally that an imperfect self can be changed and thereby made into a better self. If there is no change which could cause something to be improved, then we would call it perfect. But if we wish improvement then the self is imperfect; and therefore there is a change to be made which can cause improvement in the self. Therefore, we must then think of which change is to be made. Thus improving onesself, or one's skill in a particular area, requires identifying the shortcomings one presently has. This can be the most difficult part. First, it requires humility to acknowledge imperfection in oneself. Second, it may not always be easy to identify those areas which are deficient. For example, consider again my weight loss example. If I do not know how much exercise is appropriate, I am unable to know if I am getting enough exercise. And if I have not been given enough information about proper nutrition, then how would I know whether I am eating properly or not? In summary, the first step to improving one's skill in any area is to desire improvement. Then, one ought to acknowledge one's own shortcomings in that area, and realize that it is possible to make changes leading to improvement. Next, one should find those particular areas which are deficient. Finally, one can work to remedy those deficiencies. 2008-06-06T22:16:43-07:00 2008-06-03T20:26:56-07:00 2008-06-03 34 false State to state, coast to coast -- cops are cracking down. I learned this from a television ad which shows a large, intimidating policeman walking menacingly toward a hapless driver who has commit the dread crime of failing to wear a seatbelt. In no uncertain language, the grim, deep voiceover announcer informs me that should I neglect my safety belt, I will be pulled over and slapped with a fine. The commercial is nothing short of a threat. And this sort of campaign costs lives. Do you want police to be effective in preventing violent crime? Do you want police to have the ability to investigate murders to their fullest capacity, and to be able to stifle the worst sort of crimes? Then the police are going to need the help and support of the community. To conduct their investigations of the most heinous crimes with maximum efficiency and efficacy, police are going to need to be treated as the friends and helpers of the populace. And this is why the seatbelt laws and the fear-mongering campaign that is propelling them to the forefront are so dangerous. These laws and the campaign depict the police not as helpers and servants of the public, but as intimidating foes who are a threat even to generally law-abiding citizens. You cannot have a police force which is helped by the general population and which is at the same time feared by the population. And by projecting an image of intimidation and depicting themselves as a source of terror, the police are costing themselves the goodwill of the people they ought to protect. And in this way, the police are costing themselves trust, the very tool that is so necessary to combat the worst sort of crime. 2008-06-03T20:26:56-07:00 2008-05-29T17:51:38-07:00 2008-05-29 33 false As I earlier remarked, nothing mandatory is good. Were something clearly a good idea, there would be no need to compel it by force of the state. Rather, it is certain that the law is used to compel an action be done only in those instances where some people would choose not to do the action otherwise. I live in Massachusetts, where health insurance is required by law. If you do not have health insurance, except in a few circumstances, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts fines you. Too poor for health insurance to be a part of your budget? Then the state takes some more of your money. The wealthy are not affected at all by this law; they already have health insurance. And the people who have good, stable jobs are not touched either; they too have insurance already. Who, then, is affected by this? Those people who have either no job at all, or a job which has benefits so poor that they do not include health insurance. This law hurts the people who are already the most vulnerable. And who benefits from the law? We know that the poor do not; they are robbed of the chance to opt out of paying for health insurance. If they wanted health insurance, they would be buying it already. It is the set of health insurance companies which benefits. Are you not a customer of theirs? Then the state will fine you. Imagine that -- we citizens of Massachusetts must choose from being customers of one of a group of corporations, or having money taken from our pockets. English has a word for that, when money is taken by force from a private person by a private organization. It is not taxation, because taxation is money flowing from a person or organization to a government. No, it is theft. You may say that we receive the health insurance in exchange, so it is something other than theft. But consider that I have no ability in the state to say no without facing a fine. Then it is not a voluntary transaction. Rather, it were as though I stole your car, handed you a ten dollar bill, and called it an even exchange. 2008-05-29T17:51:38-07:00 2008-05-28T21:07:11-07:00 2008-05-28 32 false While I enjoy baseball and football, I haven't watched much basketball since the Reagan administration. I have some friends over tonight, and they wanted to watch the game now that the Celtics are doing well. What I saw was not very impressive. The fouls ruined the game for me. Instead of being a game about passing the ball and making shots through blocking, it was a game of creating, controlling, and manipulating fouls. The Pistons were deliberately fouling the Celtics. This struck me as absurd -- the penalty structure in the game is wrong if it behooves a player to break the rules. There was a point where a player seemed to try to miss a free throw. Again, the rules seem to be ill-crafted if missing a free throw is the right play. And it sure seemed like the players were playing up their injuries to the refs. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe this is an accepted part of the game, or maybe I just happened to see a game where this was running rampant. But I'm pretty sure that in baseball and football penalties are something to be avoided, not something to be sought. 2008-05-28T21:07:11-07:00 2008-05-26T17:24:28-07:00 2008-05-26 31 false We humans are not so different than the engines which power our cars. The internal combustion engine uses a series of small, controlled explosions within a chamber to do work. Are we any different? Without any explosions or chaos, we live mundane, static lives which tend to go nowhere. The time periods devoid of any entropy are the least salient. However, should the explosions become too powerful, then instead of propelling us forward they can destroy the mechanism. Therefore, what is required is a series of moderate explosions which are neither too forceful nor too impotent. As in many facets of life, moderation is key. 2008-05-26T17:24:28-07:00 2008-05-25T13:22:21-07:00 2008-05-25 30 false That deed which is done on account of obligation is never as fulfilling as the deed done out of volition. An act, commenced on account of requirement or duty, is never as rewarding as the same act initiated of one's own free will. Thus not only what is done, but also the spirit with which it is done, determines the satisfaction one has afterward. For a simple example, consider my sister's dog Honey. If Honey misbehaves, we put her in her crate. In this case, she cries and yells and makes all manner of dreadful cacophony until her sentence is served. However, there are plenty of times that she, of her own accord, walks into her crate. In the latter instances, she sleeps contentedly and seems perfectly happy. It is the same experience for her in either case; but when she chooses it, she enjoys it, and when it is forced upon her, she hates it. Relationships between humans are no different. When an act is voluntary, then it can be a joyful display of affection. When done out of obligation, then it transforms into an unpleasant chore. No one enjoys required labor, but many enjoy going beyond what is required to bring joy to another. In part this is because the feeling of doing what is required is never as good as the feeling of doing what is chosen. This is also because one receives that which is required with a less grateful heart than one receives that which is given as a voluntary gift. 2008-05-25T13:22:21-07:00 2008-05-23T22:04:48-07:00 2008-05-23 29 false It appears that we have days which are salient, and days which are mundane. The salient days are the days when we make grand strides in our standing, achieve long-sought objectives, or obtain those things which we have long sought. The salient days stand out in our mind as especially noteworthy and wonderful. The mundane days come and go, passing one into another without a milestone to mark them. The two sorts of days, at first glance, appear quite distinct, the former far more desirable and rare than the latter. However, in many cases, the mundane days are prerequisites for the salient ones. The day of receiving the acceptance letter to the college of your dreams is certainly salient; but it is only obtained by dedicating countless mundane days to the laborious pursuit of one's studies. No doubt, the athletes who win championships have spent many days outside of the crowd's roar, working out and practicing. In this way, the mundane days lay the groundwork and foundation for the salient. The mundane sow the seeds, and the salient days reap the crop which has long been cultivated by the mundane. 2008-05-23T22:04:48-07:00 2008-05-22T15:42:06-07:00 2008-05-22 28 false Common wisdom is that we humans are adaptive creatures who are able to learn new skills and techniques. We can learn to use new technology as technology progresses. Such a capability, so one might think, is what enables us to engage in new paradigms, from agriculture to industry. Yet, if this is the case, and we are so capable of learning new skills, why do the older generations have, in general, such difficulty using computers? What is simple and common to the younger generations is arcane and abstruse to those who are more advanced in age. If it were as simple as humans being able to learn new skills, then we would see no such generational gap. However, perhaps we as humans are not so malleable. Perhaps the malleability is in general applicable only to humans as a species. We, as a people, are able to change and adapt; whereas, we as individuals are more static than we might like. In this view, the younger generations have been imprinted with knowing how to use advanced technology, because its use has been common since their birth. Whereas, the older generations who have not had access to the technology may pick it up, but with less facility and celerity than those born into it. In this regard, technology may be like language. See the easy with which an infant comes to speak a native tongue. It is with considerably more effort that an adult can come to speak that language, and often not at all devoid of an accent. The adult must learn, whereas the infant simply may imprint. Technology, it seems, is much like language. Those born into a given technology adopt it more readily than those humans who must rely on their limited capacity to learn. 2008-05-23T21:58:48-07:00 2008-05-21T21:23:54-07:00 2008-05-21 1 false Hello, and welcome back to my blog. It's been a while. This blog had been active from 2005 until early 2007, when it came to an abrupt halt. Now, however, the blog is back and, I hope, better than ever. The previous blog was written entirely by hand, using an SSH connection and VI. This blog is also entirely written from scratch, though I've used Rails to make it a bit more sophisticated. I've been teaching myself Rails for a while, and finally believe that I have the skills to create the blog you see before you. If you have any suggestions, or questions, or comments, then by all means please use the comment feature. I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts and ideas with you as before. Now, I can also hear your comments and insights as well. I plan to upload the best of my older posts to this blog, to fill in some initial content. Moreover, look for more new content soon. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad to be back with my Blog. Finally, thanks to the good people at <a href="http://www.techhouse.org">Tech House </a> for hosting me for many years. Rich Shay 2008-05-21T21:35:37-07:00 2008-05-21T21:32:09-07:00 2007-02-27 2 false Today, in the Purdue Memorial Union, there was a contest in which I participated. Competition is a process which leads to the betterment of self and society, and I am proud to have stood among Olympians and Athletes to test my mettle among the finest. That's right -- today was a hamburger eating contest. When having lunch with some friends at a burger joint today, we were asked to sign up for a Hamburger Eating Contest. I asked how much the entry fee was, and was informed that it was free. Since the contest was to begin around dinner time anyway, I decided to sign up. The contest saw me and my fellow competitors seated at a bar. A full tray of ten hamburgers was placed before us, as was a glass of water and a bottle of ketchup. Then the contest began. On both sides of me, competitors voraciously devoured their burgers, backs arched, perched over their targets. I savored my burgers and sipped my water. The contest lasted ten minutes, time enough to eat enough for my dinner. With around three minutes left, I decided that I was full and sat back, content to sip my water. The competitor next to me asked if I had just entered for the free dinner, to which I responded in the affirmative. So, at the end of the contest, I found myself in last place. The winner, who had eaten nine of his ten hamburgers, was given a free meal each week until the end of the semester. My prize? I got to take home the rest of my uneaten burgers -- a better prize than second place. 2008-05-21T21:32:09-07:00 2008-05-21T21:34:09-07:00 2007-02-18 3 false <br />Sight to behold, my eyes expand <br /> To drink in your well-done taste;<br /> As sun scorches deserts' burning sand<br /> So too is my mind erased.<br /> <br /> Oh, burning fire, you make clean all in your glow --<br /> Radiate that cleansing light to purify the world!<br /> In your wake, no forest safe, from your rapid flow.<br /> But above all, you purge my mind, you leave my thoughts unfurled.<br /> <br /> Sweet gripping chaos, your madness envelopes me.<br /> Oh, that liberation -- from how we ought to be!<br /> Raging undulating thought breaks in cacophony<br /> And that maddening dim departs -- and then leaves harmony.<br /> 2008-05-21T21:35:00-07:00 2008-05-21T21:41:20-07:00 2007-01-31 4 false The world is too complex for our brains to handle, as evidenced by how quickly humans flock to any organization or guru who claims to have all the answers. Would it not be wonderful is a great person or great mind could sever all grey into black and white? Would it not be joyous if the nebulous haze of daily decision-making were replaced by a rubric which told one how to act and how to think in any and all situations? Cattle obey their hunger and their instinct. Rivers follow gravity. We, as humans, oftentimes subjugate our will much as a mindless cow does. It is easy to find a set of rules purporting to tell you how to live in any and all situations. And yet, if your church tells you what to do in all situations through a set of simple rules, find a new church. If your guru tells you a simple set of rules to simplify all actions, find a better sage. Life is complex -- the decisions we make as moral creatures are well beyond the capacity of even the most powerful computer. And no simple or easy rules can tell you exactly what to do in any situation. Life is a problem that can't be solved in a few lines of code. Discernment is the virtue of looking beyond any one set rule at a moral problem. Discernment is the use of one's mind to weigh the good and the bad and the beautiful and the ugly. Discernment is a heavy responsibility -- it would be much easier were we to subjugate our will to some authority. But then, we would be abducting our responsibility as moral creatures. We would be living lives less perfect than we could. 2008-05-21T21:41:20-07:00 2008-05-21T21:44:49-07:00 2007-01-22 5 false We should not live as an art project. Art, in its most cruel form, depicts the worst aspects of life without an acknowledgment of how bad they are. It is at once overly complex and too sterile. If our life imitates art, we cease to play upon the subtleties that the brush of Money and the chisel of Michelangelo missed. This rarefied, beautiful hollow abstraction of vivacious living is at once both overly dramatic in presentation and superficial in its treatment. It is a cybernetic existence in an age of poor machine craft: forgoing a true life for this symbiosis with perception. Turn away that perfect brush stroke grin and give me a smile. A real smile alone occurs on a mouth that has frowned, fell flat, and cried out. And this is why that real smile is beautiful. 2008-05-21T21:44:49-07:00 2008-05-21T21:51:14-07:00 2006-12-12 6 false <center> <br /> I see the sharp knife, and know that it has been crafted from dull metal.<br /> The end result is sharp and powerful --<br /> but the process of getting there was not pleasant for that steel.<br /> Subject to fire and heat, its former shape became muddled.<br /> Then lost.<br /> Burnt and devoid of its former shape, it has lost much of its former self.<br /> Standing in the threshold between unforged metal and a finished knife,<br /> its liquid uncertain form is battered but prepared for transformation.<br /> </center> 2008-05-21T21:51:14-07:00 2008-05-21T21:54:49-07:00 2006-11-16 7 false <center> <br /> This gust, this warmth, this gentle breeze.<br /> This hurricane, this inferno, this tornado.<br /> Oh, it is not the fact, but the magnitude of the fact which spells doom.<br /> Is not a blizzard but a refreshing breeze, pushed beyond its bounds?<br /> Is not cancer but growth, but overly intense and unchecked?<br /> And then, caution is a shard of terror.<br /> Love is well-directed attatchment.<br /> And a good night's sleep is temporary surrender to our frail nature.<br /> </center> 2008-05-21T21:54:49-07:00 2008-05-21T21:56:41-07:00 2006-11-14 8 false <center> <br /> The only remedy for this world's deception is cynicism.<br /> The only cure for the paranoia of cynicism is trust.<br /> The only refuge from the sorrow of broken trust is hope.<br /> The only fix for overmuch hope is realism.<br /> Realism in time leads on to cynicism.<br /> And the only cure for cynicism is love.<br /> </center> 2008-05-21T21:56:41-07:00 2008-05-21T21:57:34-07:00 2006-10-03 9 false There is fear in the unknown. Yet there is also hope. A new sun rises in each day's new sky, bearing with it the dread prospect and bright promise of a renewed tomorrow. We gamble, we roll dice, we flip cards. We embrace the unknown because therein we recognize that amid the danger of failure, amid the sands of losing, is that glimmering shard of hope. We play because we hope that victory awaits us just around the corner. Hope gets us out of bed in the morning. We are lifted up by the knowledge that tomorrow's sun may be brighter. 2008-05-21T21:57:34-07:00 2008-05-21T21:59:00-07:00 2006-09-17 10 false Do you want to understand chaos? Then just observe your room. Entropy creeps in -- with no thought or intent, your room becomes more and more messy. You can stem back the tide of chaos by cleaning your room; this provides a temporary reprieve, but the messiness will come again. That is entropy -- that is the nature of the universe. Your room never cleans itself and organizes itself, but it does find ways to make itself into a mess again. And do you think that your mind is somehow different? No, the mind is in states of chaos and order itself. The ordered mind is directed and driven behind a single purpose. It puts the entire weigh of its being behind a single task. This is organization -- the direction of the many towards a single task. Yet so too can the mind become disorganized. The many thoughts one has can draw one in a myriad of directions -- and one going in many directions at once is one going nowhere. The mind, as with the room, must be organized in order to work properly. 2008-05-21T21:59:00-07:00 2008-05-21T22:02:35-07:00 2006-09-12 11 false The butterfly is often used as a symbol of transformation. A lowly caterpillar becomes a lively butterfly. And this is a fine symbol of something mundane become something almost otherworldly. However, the simple understanding of this process of caterpillar to butterfly fails to take into account the most important step in that transformation: the cocoon. The transformation from caterpillar to butterfly is not a strict upgrade; the lesser caterpillar does not suddenly become the better butterfly. Rather, the caterpillar first enters a cocoon. While a caterpillar may not be much, it is at least free to wander about, to gather food, and to bask in the sun. In its cocoon, the caterpillar has surrendered all of those liberties and sealed itself into a hermetic existence within a self-made confine. It cannot move, nor can it engage with others, nor can it enjoy the simple pleasure of exulting below the sun. No, it is inside of a prison of its own design. It is only after a caterpillar has endured this confinement and seclusion that it becomes free from gravity itself. 2008-05-21T22:02:35-07:00 2008-05-21T22:06:12-07:00 2006-08-23 12 false There is no time like transition for the best and the worst. In stasis, while our lives and situations are stable, we may enjoy things or not enjoy things, but at least there is a reasonable expectation of what is to come. We are not surprised often. It is in beginning a new venture that we find the most hope and the most fear. Perhaps the first day of school will bring terror. Perhaps, rather, it will bring good new friends and opportunities. In transitional times we are most vulnerable to change, since we are at that time most at the mercy of unknown or uncalculated forces. Surely, there are more surprises the first time we step into a river than the ninth. Ultimately, hope and fear are both agents of transformation and change. They both serve to remind us that things can always get better and that things can always get worse. Transformation and change opens us up to both. 2008-05-21T22:06:12-07:00 2008-05-21T22:11:08-07:00 2006-06-02 13 false <center> <br /> That grey plume of hair<br /> wafting above your eyes --<br /> once black! Yet, it did fare<br /> (not to my surprise)<br /> <br /> better than that visage,<br /> now cracked like crumpled paper.<br /> Oh! Let time return that long-held mirage<br /> that this day would come much later.<br /> <br /> And so my thoughts compare<br /> those two pacts we made with time:<br /> how you burnt up your share<br /> before I finished mine.<br /> <br /> Stars burn, glowing bright.<br /> And I, dull planet, did bask in your light.<br /> Yet stars burn up and fade from sight<br /> and on this planet, 'tis evermore night.<br /> </center> 2008-05-21T22:11:08-07:00 2008-05-21T22:13:23-07:00 2006-06-01 14 false We view God as omnipotent, as all-powerful. If we see that He can do anything, why are we certain to ascribe to Him the particular ability to create and destroy? In other words, if He can do anything, shouldn't we simply assume that He has the ability to create and destroy? We do we see the need to explicitly point out this particular aspect of Him, such as in the introduction of John? Why is it specifically pointed out that He is Alpha and Omega, beginning and end? Because creation and destruction represent the most important things to us as humans. I have long said that life is a trans formative process; and our rituals tend to agree. We mark the liminal, the start and the end. We commemorate a birth, we mourn a death. Ceremonies mark present transformations and recall past transformations. Child to adult, unwed to wed, world condemned to world saved, colony to nation, winter to spring, student to alumnus. Our rituals mark transformations -- and our marking transformations demonstrates how important to us they are. They are the main cause of our celebration and our mourning. If transformations are so central to our existence, then, is it not proper that the greatest transformations -- between that which is not and that which is -- be ascribe to God? 2008-05-21T22:13:23-07:00 2008-05-21T22:14:45-07:00 2006-05-28 15 false Mowing the lawn is a meditation on restraint. The lawn serves no function other than looking good -- Aesthetics is its sole ergon. And yet, we retain it, adorning our lawn, like some piece of jewelry. It requires constant upkeep, and work, but we maintain it for its beauty. There is also, in addition, the aspect of lawn which resembles moderation. We maintain some lawn -- its extrication is never considered an option. But at the same time, we are cautious to keep only this minute amount. Arranged, planned, but never given reign to grow wild or without our control. Such is the lawn -- without function, requiring some effort. Yet harmless and even enjoyable while kept in moderation. 2008-05-21T22:14:45-07:00 2008-05-21T22:15:40-07:00 2006-05-24 16 false "Oh! A lucky penny!" -- how often have you heard this? Strolling through a parking lot, seeing an abandoned penny lying on the ground, people pick up that penny, and think themselves to have enhanced luck. But think about it. Where did that penny come from? From someone unlucky enough to have dropped some money! So, that penny cursed its previous owner to lose some money. And now you, too, can have that cursed, unlucky penny. Not that I believe in luck -- but that's a topic for a whole different entry. 2008-05-21T22:15:40-07:00 2008-05-21T22:19:46-07:00 2006-05-15 17 false Mental illness. Prozac, Ritalin, depression, and psychological disorders. Why are they cropping up now more than ever? Why are they so common now? The obvious answer is that they treat people who are not well adjusted. And then my question becomes, adjusted to what? Perhaps the fact that we need to medicate so many people to allow them to fit into society means there is something wrong with the society, and not with the individual. Perhaps we take the inability of one to accept this society as an individual problem, when the problem lies with the structure itself. Young women are constantly bombarded with the message that they are fat and not nearly as pretty as the women in their magazines. Who is surprised that they are depressed after growing up until this constant societal criticism? Who could be amazed when the ridiculed are miserable? But oh, she is depressed. Give her a pill. Never mind that the cause is starring us in the face. Never mind the pressures put on her by social expectation. Fix her. Bring her back to productivity. Give her soma. Get in line. By alphabetical order, last name. Sit in your seat. Do not get up. Do not speak. Do not fidget. Now color this picture. Now perform this song. Now play this game -- it is gym time. Stay inside the line. Your essay must be three paragraphs. Rise, put your hand on your heart, and repeat your loyalty oath. oh, but this child will not be silent! Oh, that child will not rise when told to rise, nor sit when told to sit. Drug him. Bring him back into the herd. Return his wandering mind to the flock. Innovation by its nature requires thinking outside the box. New ideas require pressing bounds. But that is alright. Have your drugs and stop acting out of line. Your school, your magazine, and your drug companies thank you. 2008-05-21T22:19:46-07:00 2008-05-21T22:24:19-07:00 2006-04-12 18 false Out society is polytheistic. Its gods are immortal, driven, free of guilt, and free of fear. They are as real as your or I, and many will outlive both of us. They have names like Coca Cola, Sony, and Wal-Mart. Any Roman would agree that these corporations are in fact gods. They have clerics and priests who do their bidding for a living. In return, their patron god grants them what they need to survive. These clerics are called employees. They work to spread their names to one and all: Advertising spreads their divine word. Perhaps you say, but we don't think they are real. I say, you can buy from Sony, Sony can sue you, Sony can influence legislation. Let's see Zeus accomplish that. 2008-05-21T22:24:19-07:00 2008-05-21T23:05:17-07:00 2006-03-15 19 false I'd like to put forth my view of the interconnection between mind, body, and soul. This may well be incorrect, but this is the best I can understand at the moment. This view has formed over the years as I have observed how separate parts must work together to create a being. The soul, the mind, and the body are each discrete aspects composing a man, yet at the same time relate and connect with one another. The body is mortal and fragile. No one need be reminded that the body exists now and will cease to exist in the future. Yet the body is not disconnected from the brain. The body supplies nutrients to the brain, and sends signals of pain and pleasure. The brain, for its part, commands the body. The body has an arm, yet an impulse from the brain commands that arm. But I'll dwell no longer on the nature of mind and body, for it is clear to any who considers them. Next is the soul. This is the divine "spark" or "shard" within someone. If we are crafted in the nature of God, it is not because we have an arm like God has an arm, but rather because we have this divine soul. Our soul is ultimately our will. We make decisions via this soul. It is our consciousness. How do the brain and soul interact? And of the body and soul? The brain can feel hunger, yet it is the soul which decides to eat. The body can feel cold. The brain is told this by the body. And the brain relays this information to the soul. The soul may then decide to exit a room. Memory, it seems, resides in the brain, yet can be accessed by the soul. And when we will our arm to move, our soul tells the brain which tells the body. That is to say, the brain acts in many ways as the connection between soul and body. The brain may be the store for memory. But the brain per se can act. The body gives the brain some impulses which don't consult the soul before translating into action. When I put my hand onto a hot pan, my soul isn't consulted before an action to retract that arm is taken. When my heart beats, my soul has no action, but my brain controls it. Sometimes, in fact, the brain can initiate an action which occurs only if the soul fails to intervene, such as when a young child will act in a certain manner unless an adult stops him. For instance, one may "find" oneself eating potato chips. This may not have been the result of any direct will, but rather because no personal impulse prevented it. And of damage. The soul cannot be harmed. Yet there are those who seem unable to manifest will properly, or at all. What of them? A rational man with an irrational means of communication will be indistinguishable from an irrational man. The soul, rational though it may be, is yet restricted to interacting with the world through the brain. Moreover, the information about which the soul can base worldly decisions is a product only of that brain. Therefore, consider a man who is controlling a robot remotely. If the robot is not acting in a rational manner, then perhaps the robot is sending faulty data to the man. Perhaps, instead, the connection between the man and the robot is broken. Thus, a soul is not able to become irrational, but a soul may have a poor connection with the body, or none at all. 2008-05-21T23:05:37-07:00 2008-05-21T23:10:49-07:00 2006-02-26 20 false I am not a clever man, and I often miss things. One thing that I fail to understand is how someone nominally a Christian can support the death penalty. This isn't so much confusion about how a person in general could support the death penalty -- while I don't, I can see the rational behind it. Yet, let's suppose that you believe that God manifest as man. And of all of the many life-ending things to get Him, among those countless possible ends, He met His through execution. Jesus was killed through the state-run death penalty. Now, if that were your belief, don't you think that there would be some reason to distrust the death penalty? This same thing that killed your God -- the state deciding to end the life of one of its citizens -- is still being used today. 2008-05-21T23:10:49-07:00 2008-05-21T23:14:41-07:00 2006-02-01 21 false And of free will? That, too, is some beast, raging and burning. It exults in the glow of our feast, yet hides from our cold. Oh, but do the birds not express in their sweet song a greater joy than man can know? Oh, damn that fruit of consciousness! Oh, that apple! We stand, aware of our imperfections and our flaws, aware that our fate is our own, and that nothing is destiny. Oh, happy birds, never having devoured that fruit! Oh, joyful stream, cascading down the land in your exultation! Never do you seek a shelter from the concerns of life, for to you there is life without concern. Those beaks of yours -- they have never partaken of that wretched fruit -- they have never caused this corruption, with daily concern and irrational fear. What a happy existence you lead, oh you who has the sky as a playground. And yet, I do wonder. Was it that the Snake gave to Adam and Eve that fruit as some cruel, cruel act upon their flesh? Did that beast give unto them that fruit to ruin them or their kin? Did Diabolus bring them that fruit in order to curse their lot? And for his deed against man was the devil condemned? Or maybe, maybe that was no devil but rather Prometheus himself! Perhaps that devil's crime was against God and not man! Perhaps that devil stole that which was sacred from the Divine, and brought that divine shard down to unworthy man. Perhaps the damnation of the devil grew from treachery against God, by stealing that consciousness and forcing that gift upon man, remaking man in God's image. 2008-05-21T23:14:41-07:00 2008-05-21T23:16:26-07:00 2006-01-31 22 false In the mornings we see the sun, ascending into the sky. Birds fill the air and the light beings to glow. A hope, a promise -- the sun carries with it some hope for a glorious new day. The day brings potential and possibility -- it brings a hope that this day will be better than yesterday. The morning sky begins to hum with a warmth and radiance, as though the day were beginning to take stride, some runner starting now on the first leg of his run, ready to encounter whatever he may as he travels. Not the static consequence of another yesterday, but the bright hope of a new tomorrow does the day promise from beyond its clouded veil. This day, we think, the world may hum in accord with us -- this day we may find in ourselves that which we have sought. No old dew does sit atop the blades of grass, but rather new and fresh droplets adorn those underfoot crops. Here we find novelty and in it, something exciting. And we can exult to see that the footprints we left behind yesterday are still firm in the mud-heaped earth, a reminder of that path we did tread, a reminder that today is not the only chance we will have. And a reminder, too, that celerity is to our advantage, for the day shall end just as it began, with the sun hovering just over the horizon. 2008-05-21T23:16:26-07:00 2008-05-21T23:18:28-07:00 2006-01-20 23 false Anger is, itself, neither good nor bad, but can be directed toward either. It is a method of self-preservation. Anger teaches us to protect ourselves, and to get away from harm. We learn through anger that those things which do us deep harm are not to be accepted or endured, and we learn through anger that we should not subject ourselves to them. Anger is the impulse which gives us the strength to remove a boot from our throat. At the same time, Anger is a sort of pain. He who is angry is he who is in pain, for to be angry is to be pained. Sometimes, that pain is necessary; just as pain tells the body something is wrong, anger can inform the mind. Yet, to retain anger beyond its useful state is to retain needless and unhelpful pain. To take up anger when it does no good is willingly to endure pain without any purpose. Anger is a heavy rock. At its best, anger can be used to thwart those who would do one harm, and stop attackers. Yet, without any real attackers to stop, anger becomes a needless burden. Therefore, let anger be retained while it is useful and good. Yet, let go that anger when you have no wish to do harm -- for carrying around that rock will get rather exhausting. 2008-05-21T23:18:28-07:00 2008-05-21T23:21:20-07:00 2006-01-17 24 false It is not that I am perfect -- far from it. And it is not that I need to shy away from improvement -- just the opposite. And yet, the world has no shortage of barbs and arrows to cast at me, and no shortage of pain to pour upon my brow. This, I accept without complaint, for such is the nature of the universe. I cannot ask for the world to treat me with tenderness -- that would be asking too much. And then, there is home. Home is not necessarily a place -- for a house is not a home. Home is where we can find sanctuary and shelter from those worldly bolts. Home is where we can find some tranquility amid a torrential world. Home is where we can find peace amid a violent and raging exterior world. I cannot with reason seek to avoid battle, because life would not be so caring toward me. Life will not kiss me good morning, nor will it tuck me in at night. I need no such soft life, for the world is hard. What I ask -- and what I hope is not too unreasonable to seek -- is a life in which, no matter how hard the rain may pour and how fiercely the heavens may thunder, I may still find home to be a place which will be warm and safe. I hope I don't ask too much. I seek this, for in truth, happiness is found in peace. And my hope is that, at home, I may find that peace. 2008-05-21T23:21:20-07:00 2008-05-21T23:36:27-07:00 2005-10-16 26 false I am going somewhere with this. Don't worry -- I'll get there eventually. Background: a bit from the Symposium Plato's Symposium is a truly great work, and there are many aspects of this book worth examination. However, for today's discussion, I'd like to reference only a single concept. Alcibiades was a popular, successful, charismatic young Greek. And he wanted Socrates to be his....well, let's say his teacher. Yet, despite Alcibiades' pleas, Socrates resisted the young man. And the reason had something to do with Socrates' notion of human interaction. To Socrates, the human interaction consisting of one person pouring knowledge into another person was flawed. In fact, any interaction between two people in which one person just gave and the other just took was flawed. And since Alcibiades lacked any wisdom to share with Socrates, if Socrates did teach him, then it would have been just such an exchange. So, what sort of exchange was ideal in Socrates' mind? The sort of exchange between two people that lead to the creation of something outside them both. A man and a woman can interact and thereby produce a new life. Two people, in conversation, can come up with ideas that neither person would have had alone. A team of people working together can construct a bridge that no one person could have made. And that, then, is the very best sort of interaction according to Socrates -- the sort that generates something outside of all involved. So, to Socrates, the very best sort of philosophical exchange is that in which everyone involved learns something, and ideally, there is some new truth or wisdom or understanding found that no one possessed before the conversation. And that takes us to God. In the beginning, God said, "Let there by light." And now do you see why what I wrote above matters? God, in this story, creates the world by means of word. He doesn't wave a Magic Wand, nor does he just will light into being. He speaks. And now, think back to the beginning of John. "In the beginning was the Word." John equates Jesus to Word. And isn't that exactly what God uses in Genesis to bring all things into being -- word? The passage in John goes on to describe Word as a creative entity -- all things were made through this Word. And of course, if you're looking for a further account (pardon the pun) of Word being used as a creative entity, just go read some Heraclitus. After all, Word is just an awful translation of the original Logos. OK, so why does all of this stuff matter? Go on, Rich, tie this all together. If we listen to what Socrates said, the best sorts of interactions are those which produce something outside of those acting. And isn't that just what is sounds like is happening in the Genesis story? Isn't there some interaction between God the Father and Word which creates something new? I'm just speculating here, of course -- this all just came to me as I took a walk. But maybe, just maybe, thinking that just one person of God created the universe alone isn't quite right. Maybe, rather, it was the interaction between the persons of God which created the universe, just as people working together might bring a new idea or concept into being. (Of course, this does nothing to contradict monotheism -- in Christianity, a single God has three persons) Perhaps the universe, too, is the construct of an interaction between the persons of God. For centuries, philosophers have struggled with the concept of a "first cause," a singular entity from which all else sprang. Yet, of course, nothing on the Earth is anything except inert in a vacuum. Fire is an interaction with oxygen. Decay is an interaction with bacteria. Rain is an interaction between clouds and pressure and temperature. Is the world, too, some interaction? Note: None of the above is to indicate that I believe that the world is created in a week or anything of the sort. I'm a strong believer in evolution. And evolution in no way contradicts the bible. But the bible often speaks to us in metaphor. And so I understand the creation story(ies) therein. But I suppose that would be another entry, for another day. But I'm not quite done yet with today. And what about us? And that leads to what troubles me about all of this. Even if you disregard everything that I'm tossing around regarding God and creation, and you certainly can disregard that as the ramblings of a sleep-deprived student, I do think that there is something powerful to what Socrates said of interactions. And yet, how then are we to interact with God? After all, if there is something unwholesome about a one-sided exchange, then we face the problem that any interaction with an all-powerful being is pretty much going to be forced to be one-sided. What wisdom can we offer God? To put that another way, what logos can we offer Logos? 2008-05-21T23:41:34-07:00 2008-05-21T23:27:09-07:00 2005-10-11 25 false The beggar is a fine example to us when it comes to how we approach God. The beggar is worthy of nothing through his own merit, and knows this fact. He is not a store-owner with goods to provide in exchange for your money. He is not offering some useful service, as a gardener would do, in exchange for your coin. He is not some hero who is counted worthy of monetary reward due to some excellent deed on his part. No, he is just a man whose begging is for a coin which he has done nothing to earn. He seeks to reap what he has not sown. And likewise must we be when we approach God. We can do nothing which makes us per se worthy of Divine Grace. No act or deed or thought or belief can allow us to transcend our humanity. We can never, on our own, be good enough for God to grant us anything. Yet I won't leave you with such a gloomy message. For, despite our inability to be worthy of Divine Grace, we can still be handed that unearned coin. Yes, we, you and I. To those who would say that only the good can receive Grace, I ask, who among you is good? And to those who say that only those with certain knowledge or wisdom can be saved, I again ask, who has complete knowledge and unfailing wisdom? Yes, God sees our pitiful selves, and grants to us those gifts of which we are by no means worthy. This is not on account of anything we say or think or do, but rather on account of the loving nature of God. As I have heard before: We are good and just not because we can receive Grace from God -- for we are unable to be good enough or just enough for that. We act in this way because we love God, and seek to act according to His Will -- not for any reward, but simply out of love. 2008-05-21T23:27:09-07:00 2008-05-21T23:39:48-07:00 2005-09-16 27 false A man was taking out the garbage. After stepping outside with a heavy bag of trash, he slips. Trash is spilled all around him. He bends down to start picking up the trash that he dropped, and he sees an ant walking beside him. He moves his foot and steps on the ant, killing it. "Well," says the man, "at least I'm better off than the ant." 2008-05-21T23:39:48-07:00